You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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