so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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