I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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