I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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