I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
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