He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize