i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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