I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Girls should come with a carfax report
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
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I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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