my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
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He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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