She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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