i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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