apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize