i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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