Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I said "one day" and that day is not today
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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