lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
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Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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