You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize