when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize