Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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