You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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