it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He better not be in your backpack
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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