So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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