just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize