I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
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not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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