This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
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I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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