i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize