I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
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