I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
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He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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