So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
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And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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