I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize