what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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