Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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