Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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