Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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