Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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