And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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