the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize