Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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