I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize