I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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