she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
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You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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