dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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