I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize