I puked a lego.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize