I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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