So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
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finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
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Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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