i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
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Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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