Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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