Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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