College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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