I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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